My opinions on important things such as the Oscars…

I watch the Oscars every year.  It’s my super bowl and I get very upset when something stands in the way my watching.  I had to endure a lot of drama and excitement this year (again) to watch because we don’t have ABC.  ABC will be getting a strongly worded letter as soon as I have time to write one because they refuse to have a local affiliate station where I live (to give you an idea of how advanced we are here, you can only pay your utility bills in cash and in person).  We also don’t have cable or satellite so I was doomed from the start.  Finally, about halfway through the awards, I got to watch uninterrupted after lots of switching from one illegal ustream to the next.  Why ABC is punishing people who can’t afford cable, I don’t know.  ANYWAY…

I woke up this morning and read the reviews.  All the feminists hate Seth McFarlane.  I’m a feminist and I think he’s hilarious.  Sometimes feminists need to unbunch their skirts, you feel me?  Others thought he was unfunny and crass.  I like crass.  In case you care, here’s my review.

FLOTUS!!!  Michelle and her bangs bring happy tears to my eyes.  Love everything about her and I would pay $10,000 for her bangs and her dance moves.  If you haven’t watched her video with Jimmy Fallon, “Evolution of Mom Dancing,” then please stop what you are doing and do it immediately. 

Jennifer Lawrence.  I love her.  I did not love her dress.  Also, it made her fall up stairs and that is never good although she is so utterly charming and adorable that it just made me love her more.  My favorite part was when someone on the red carpet asked her about her dress and she said something like, “what do you mean?  This is the top and this is the bottom.” 

Hathaway’s dress was also not my favorite.  I have a love/hate relationship with Anne and her perkiness.  But I thought she was wonderful in Les Mis and she can sing so ok.  Also, the dress she wore for the medley was wonderful and I want it.

J Hud is beautiful and gorgeous and can sing her ass off and she looked freaking great. 

Jessica Chastain’s dress was beautiful and I think she is a vision generally.  Go girl. 

Robin Roberts was also a freakin’ vision. 

Barbra went in a totally different direction and wore an off the shoulder by Donna Karan.  Oh wait, that is her only direction but who cares!?  I will freely admit that I got a tiny bit teary when Babs sang.  I LOVE YOU BARBRA! As a side note to further illustrate my devotion, my son (age 2 ½) sings along to almost every song from Funny Girl.  He’s good.  He’s real good.

Speaking of musical numbers, who else cried a little over the Les Mis number?  It’s no secret that I’m obsessed.  I haven’t seen Lincoln and I’m sure DDL deserved to win (again.  Why do we even bothering nominating anyone else?  Just hand him the statue every year that he does a movie!) but I really, really wanted Hugh Jackman to win.  I very much appreciated the little Les Mis medley.  I won’t get into my feelings about Seyfried’s voice except to say….why?  If she’d lose the crazy vibrato…that’s all I’ll say.  Yet, everyone loves to bash Russell Crowe’s singing voice.  It isn’t perfect but it is very sincere and has a nice quality and I was very moved by his performance generally so there.  I’m obsessed with Sasha Baron Cohen.  That was my favorite part.  Yay!  (I am qualified to discuss people’s singing talent being a great singer myself and I regularly sing solos to my family and occasionally at church functions.)

Helena Bonham Carter and Tim Burton always look like nuts and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

There were lots of musical numbers and I’m very pleased about it.  The more musical numbers the better is my general motto.  Whichever genius decided that there should be dancing and singing by Harry Potter and Joseph Gordon Levitt is my new bff.  Seth M. has a nice voice.  I got a little weary of his big finish complete with arms wide open and an extended final note but he pulled it off so ok. 

Adele!  She sang her butt off and looked gorgeous and was precious like an angel.  Adele should sing at all awards shows ever.  That is a great song too. 

Ben Affleck made me cry.  I haven’t even seen Argo because I get to go the movies once every six months and obviously I chose Les Mis over Argo.  But I love his movies and I really appreciated his speech.  I’m a little weepy now just thinking about it. 

I really wanted Beasts of the Southern Wild to win something.  I was very moved by that movie.  It was beautiful and precious and I loved it.  Go see it.  Now. 

Thank you for indulging me while I’m off the parenting topic entirely.  I’ll speak a little on parenting before I go.  Between the Oscars and my children, I slept for about five minutes last night and I’m so tired right now that I could throw up. 

And finally, we watched American Horror Story (season one) last week and it is the most terrifying thing I’ve ever seen in my life.  I’m so relieved that it is over even though at some point we will probably watch the second season.  Nobody plays evil/crazy like Jessica Lange.  No one. 

My next post will actually be about attachment parenting.  As per usual, there is drama within the community and I have a lot to say about it.  Stay tuned.   

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