More than one person told me recently “I miss Annythemommy.” I do too. There has been a ton of stuff going on over here in Annythemommyland. Some stuff is great and some stuff…not as great. But there have definitely been some changes. Anyway, I’m going to try to do a better job of keeping up here.
When Annythemommy began, I was a stay-at-home mom. I would love to know why we call it “stay” at home. It seems to me that “work-horse-at-home” would be a better description. Or “home-based-indentured-servant” would also be accurate. I had a small baby and a bigger baby. Now the babies are closer to actual children than tiny babies. They scream and fight and hit and kick and pinch. It’s very precious. They also talk. M says mostly negative things like “NOOOOO” and “I DOOOOON’T.” Precious angel. She also screams bloody murder for at least an hour a day, usually more. We like to think that one day she will be a great opera star since she has never, not once, gone hoarse from all the screaming. Otherwise, she will have to make her way as a scream queen…hopefully she will be more Jamie Lee Curtis than Jennifer Love Hewitt… She is still cosleeping and breastfeeding and being very attached. I don’t always consider this a bad thing. HA!
Ezra is well on his way toward his dream of actually becoming a vehicle, whether it be a plane, car, or train. He is a marvelous actor, a method actor. Move over Daniel Day Lewis. I expect that he will win an Academy Award for his portrayal as Lightning McQueen in the live action version of “Cars.” I hope he remembers to thank his sainted mother in his acceptance speech.
As for me? Well, I’m living the dream. I am now a work-at-home mother. This is a total oxymoron. There is no working with small children around. So I hired some babysitters. Sacre bleu! My sanity has been restored! Almost!
This transition has not been easy and has required a lot of mental work. I always thought I would be extremely content to be a stay-home-mom. Turns out, I need a little more stimulation than that…except I hate to go to work. I really do. Trying to make me show up somewhere every day at the same time is no longer a possibility because of my sweet children. Let’s just face it, it was barely a possibility in the first place. My dreamy nature prevents me from remembering to do laundry, etc., so it’s excellent that we don’t have to show up anywhere at 8 am. Mr. Allergic to Every Food Ever can’t go to preschool either because I would worry myself into a coma. At home we will stay!
I have been surprised at the amount of guilt I feel at getting someone to come in and help for 12-15 hours a week. I’m adjusting to it now and feeling like maybe I’m not the worst mother on the planet, and maybe I’m even a better mother, because a 12 hour break spread out over a week has given me the gift of a little bit more patience. And my work is important. Maybe I’m not the one conducting possible planet-saving research in the field of environmental economics, BUT I’m the one that makes sure there are no egregious errors in the research papers the actual researchers write. One time I literally saved the day by spotting “dessert lion” and changing it to “desert lion.” You are welcome, planet earth!
I also wrote a novel last year. WHAT? Yes, it’s true. It might not be a particularly good novel but it’s mine and I wrote it. I have sent it off to a bunch of agents and no one has said “Yes!!!” yet but they have said things like “Your writing is very nuanced, but…” I’ll take it!
I’ll try to write more. I have gotten nothing but wonderful support and love from my readers, all 12 of you. I know that being vulnerable is a much better way to live than being all closed up inside. And this is one of the few places that I feel like I’m allowed to show my vulnerability. My therapist would ask me why that is…I am not my own therapist (thankfully) so I’ll just skip on to the next thing and ignore that question. Lalalalalala!
Have a beautiful day!